Why does it have to be a competition?

Apparently, I lose at the Mommier-Than-Thou race. You know the moms I'm referring to: acquaintances, or even strangers, who make disdainful comments about your parenting because THEY would never do such a thing to THEIR children. The random woman who sees Cheetos, a case of Coke, and Lucky Charms in your shopping cart and rolls her eyes while looking down her nose, and you hear a muttered "I'd never feed that to my family." Or the woman who sees you give your child a pacifier and takes it upon herself to lecture you on The Evils of the Binkie; after all, her children didn't need one.

I'm a pretty laid-back parent,and my "parenting style" is a mix of attachment-parenting and not-so-attachment. I've breastfed all of my babies, use cloth diapers, wear them in a sling or a wrap, cosleep until about 12 months, and buy natural or organic foods whenever possible. On the other hand, I'm fully pro-vaccinations, I use a pacifier if they'll take it, put my kids in public school (gasp! The horror!), and let them have Otter Pops, cookies, ice cream, and even the occasional soda. I've noticed most of the Mommy Drive-By Snarkings are aimed at those who are at the other end of the spectrum from the AP parenting ideal, and since I'm firmly in middle ground I always figured I was safe.

Until last week. I took the kids to the community pool; since Lily doesn't get in the water yet, she was wearing just a pink diaper. A woman next to me, who we'll call Momzilla, asked me where I'd gotten her diaper, and after I answered her she sniffed slightly and said "Oh, I tried that kind once." Over the next five minutes, I got to hear all about the cloth diapers she uses and how much better and cuter they are than the ones I have. How she doesn't like all-in-one diapers (these actually aren't), how they take forever to dry (umm...no), ad nauseum.

I left the area and went to play with my kids. Upon returning to get Lily's wrap so I could have my hands free, Momzilla commented on that as well. I did notice that she was wearing a similar wrap, but my smile in seeing that we had something in common quickly disappeared she launched into a lengthy expostulation on why mine wasn't a "real" wrap. It was too stretchy, it wasn't long enough, it looked terribly uncomfortable, and I just wasn't doing it right. Although I tried to refute a couple of her comments at first, it became obvious very quickly that Momzilla wasn't listening, and nothing I could have said would have changed her opinions.

Thinking about it now leaves me with mixed feelings: half disbelief, and half the knowledge that had it happened to a friend while I was watching, I probably would have busted up laughing at her know-it-all attitude. It really was comical.

The kicker, though, came as I was getting ready to leave. She mentioned that I might want to wash Lily's two pacifiers before giving them to her, as her daughter had been playing with them and trying to give them to her baby. My jaw just about hit the floor. Ms. Going-for-the-Gold-in-Mommylympics was so concerned about the brands of cloth diapers and wrap I'm using, that she couldn't watch her own child long enough to keep her out of my things!

You know what's sad, though? As I told this story to a friend, she commented that the woman was probably trying to start a conversation or make a connection with me, but lacked the social skills to do so. She's probably right. My first thought when Momzilla started talking to me, was that it'd be nice to have a friend who also cloth-diapers and babywears, since that's not the norm here. Unfortunately, everything she said was so snobbish and superior, it left me unable to think of a single nice thing to say. I ended up not wanting to have anything to do with her.

I'm a little sad about that, but not enough to have a conversation with her again!