Misunderstandings, or, An Exercise in Customer Service Idiocy

I always make an extra effort to be nice to the employees who answer Customer Service phone calls. If I have a problem with a company or product and need it addressed, venting my frustration or anger at the customer service employee won't do me any good. For one, the person answering the phone is most definitely not the person who caused the initial problem, so there's no point in yelling at them. Two, if I want something fixed, the CS department is usually the one who tries to fix it. You don't want to alienate them, because they're the ones who will try to get you the resolution you want.

Usually.

I understand that CS people have a script to follow that tells them the steps to take and questions to ask the caller. But are people really so dense that they are incapable of deviating from it, or at least recognizing when the problem doesn't fit the script?

Case in point:
Jeff's employer instituted Flexible Spending Account credit cards this year. The idea behind it is great: you use the card for medical expenses, and it's deducted from your FSA balance instead of having to pay for things and wait for reimbursement. The small print mentions that "some transactions may require additional substantiation and submission of receipts for verification of medical appropriateness." The theory is great, but the practical application, not so much. For the first three months of the year, they required paper copies of receipts and insurance information for Every. Single. Stinkin'. Transaction. Gee, it's a charge that equals my copay amount, charged from my doctor's office, Hey! Let's get a receipt because she's obviously spending that on haircare! Or the $647 spent at the orthodontist's--you know that's gotta be a clothes shopping spree. But I digress...

One of the charges from January, at the dentist's office, required paper substantiation. Apparently we missed that email, so nothing was submitted. After April, that charge was considered ineligible and counted as an overpayment on their part, which we must compensate for by submitting unreimbursed claims that will total or exceed that amount. I called customer service today to find out what additional paperwork we needed to submit besides the insurance verification.

Customer Service employee: "How may I help you?" Very strong accent. I really don't know how much of the problem was idiocy vs a language barrier.
Me: "I need to find out what paperwork I can fax with the insurance information for the Jan. 4th charge so that it can be classified as an eligible charge."
CS: Yes, that charge has been labeled as an overpayment. One moment please while I do some addition.
(I'm wondering what addition she needs to do, but can't ask because I'm on hold.)
CS: You need to submit additional claims for $71.86 to complete the overpayment amount.
Me: Huh? No, I need to know what paperwork I have to send in.
CS: The paperwork should accompany the additional seventy-one dollar claim.
Me: 71 additional dollars of what? The claim I'm referencing is a charge for $350, January 4th, at Dr. Dentistname.
CS: Yes, that is an overpayment.
Me: I know that. What I'd like to know is what paperwork I can submit so that it's no longer considered an overpayment and ineligible. It was a legitimate charge.
CS: Ma'am, you need to submit $71 more.
Me: (Thoroughly confused by now) More of what? More charges? You're not answering my question!
CS: (Very slowly, as if she's talking to a child, which is infuriating in & of itself) Would you like me to explain it again?
Me: Yes, because obviously I'm missing something.
CS: Your overpayment amount is not complete and you need to submit another $71.
Me: I don't want to submit another $71, I want to clear up the charge that was classified as ineligible so that it's reflected as eligible and not an overpayment.
CS: Yes. Your account will remain in overpayment status until you have submitted unreimbursed claims of $71.86.
Me: (Silence while I contemplate banging my forehead against the wall, which could possibly prove more productive.) You. Are. NOT. Answering. My. Question.
CS: What is it that you don't understand? You are in overpayment status.

At that point, I bit my tongue to prevent myself from saying what I was thinking, and calmly asked to speak to a supervisor, since she and I were clearly talking about two different things.

Guess what? The supervisor understood exactly what I was asking, provided me with the correct information, and even spent ten minutes researching the claims history to see if anything had been submitted that was missed. Looking back at the conversation, it's easy to say that I should have just asked for a supervisor after the first two minutes, but I honestly thought that if I explained what I was asking for, she'd understand what I was saying.

Nope.