3 weeks? Where did it go? Thoughts on a big family...

I think I need a thought-operated computer. I have so many thoughts during the day--some of them amusing, some profound, some totally random--and I think "I should blog that!"

When I get home, do I remember any of them? Nope. Not a chance. Too much other stuff going on.

I've spent the last three weeks ferrying children to the swimming pool and trying to clean my house. Poof! Just like that, almost a month is gone since I've last posted. The more I think about it, the more I believe we're done having kids. Six is my limit! I can barely keep up with them!

It's interesting, though, to talk to other moms about family size. There are four comments that I hear constantly, after answering the question "How many kids do you have?" Most frequent? "Wow! How do you do it? I only have (2/3/4) and they drive me crazy! You must have so much patience!" Second is "Oh, do you homeschool?" Third, "Are you done? You must be done, right?" Last, but definitely not least, "You have your hands full!"

Oh, goodness, I know people are well-meaning and just trying to make conversation, but these questions crack me up. Let me give you the answers that I'd never tell someone in person:
1. What do you mean how do I do it? How do I not? I don't know how I make it through the day, I just do, because I have to. What's my alternative--making a dash for Mexico? Running off with the hot pool guy? Hmmm...that might work, if we had a pool guy. Heck, we don't have a pool yet. I may have to work on that.

And the other half of the question, What in the world makes you think I have a lot of patience? In fact, with six kids, why wouldn't you just assume that I'm a raving lunatic? 'Cause I am some days, you know. I'm far from the perfect mom. Just ask my kids! They'll be happy to regale you with stories of my not-so-great parenting moments. In fact, I'd assume that a mom of one child has to have more patience than I do. She can't say "Go play with your brother so I can get this laundry folded!" The thought that because I have more kids, I'm more patient, makes me giggle maniacally.

2. Homeschooling. Um, no. I have a lot of faith in the public school system here. It may not be perfect, but I don't know that I could recall the Pythagorean theorem if you paid me. Jaden, blesshisheartIlovehimdearly, has his father's personality in almost all respects. If I tried to homeschool that boy, we'd end up killing each other. At school, though? He's an angel, and on the honor roll. You think I'm a little nutty now, but homeschooling would end up with me locked in a loony bin somewhere.

3. Am I done? That's such a personal question! Why on earth would you ask someone that? Is it just morbid curiosity? My friends and family know that we are probably done adding to our family. Six is the number that feels right to both of us. Random strangers, though? None of your dang business, thankyouverymuch. While I won't lie to them and say No, I give them the same answer I've used for the last five years: "We're done for this year." They can infer whatever they want from that. It irks me to no end that people just assume that we MUST be done, because no one in his right mind would want more than that. (Want to know a secret? No one in his right mind would want more than two or three anyway. We've never claimed to be in our right minds. But it works for us.) Yeah, we're done, but it's because we want to be, not because you think we should be.

4. Duh. That is all.

I'm rarely snarky in real life, as much as I'd love to be. I say something bland like "Oh, no more patience than your average mom!" or "Homeschooling's just not for us." Now, though, you know what I'm really thinking. Best question to ask a mom? I don't think there is one. Just smile and say "You have a beautiful family," because every mother likes to hear that even if it's not true. If you can't manage that, just say wow, and stop. RESIST the urge to make inane comments that will just leave her shaking her head, silently laughing, and writing in her blog about the idiotic things she heard that day.